A few nights ago, I was looking out of a window and saw a street light that was next to a tree casting an eerie artificial light on the tree’s leaves.
For a few minutes, I was transported back to a night when my 16-year-old self was staring at a light shining on a tree outside of the window of my great Aunt Jewel’s house which was located in a small town in Texas
I had just received my driver’s license a few weeks before. Ever since the movie, American Graffiti, many fad’s had been revived from the 50’s, one of them being “cruising.” Early in the evening, I had been cruising down main street in my yellow Maverick with my younger brother who was a reluctant passenger. We had been going to visit my grandparents at least one weekend a month ever since I could remember. My cousins were much older than we were and there wasn’t much “treasure” left up in the old closet upstairs at our grandparent’s house for us to discover. I was thrilled to be able for the first time to drive up and down Main street, windows down, radio playing “We Are the Champions” and local boys honking their horns and shouting, “Baby come take a ride with me.”
When I was looking at that light many years ago, I remembered at that moment feeling excited that a new world of possibilities was opening up for me and also secure in an environment of extended family that wrapped their loving arms around me.
Then I came back to myself as I am now looking at the light next to the tree. I thought about my grandparents, my great-aunt who passed out of this world years ago. I began sinking into constant pain and and dwelling in disappointment that my grandchildren will never be coming to “Grandma’s house for the weekend. I lived in a world where I had lost much. Before I feel down any further in the well of despair, I stretched my back and lifted up my head and whispered a short prayer.
My mind flooded with many life lessons that have resulted in strength,understanding and compassion. I realized I do have in front of me a world of possibilities and ahead lies the preparation for shedding this broken shell. I will continue my journey with my true identity, that part of us that always will be Imagine those possibilities and as Captain James T. Kirk, Starship Enterprise, once said, “To infinity and beyond.